Two Weeks
by daytimedrama
Summary: Sad angst, DannyLindsay, yep I admit it, it's just mostly sad. Hopefully good sad though. AN: Oh its turning fluffy Chapter 3 added 1108
1. Two Weeks

Hi Guys, so apparently I don't take notes in class anymore I just think up the worse possible DL senarios. Try to make myself cry, pretend I'm emotional over Paradise Lost, tortured English major so moved by Milton.  
I'm cruel to my fictional DL, they either OD on the fluff or are knee deep in angst. **Here is waist deep in sad sad angst. **enjoy

A/N: Short, un-beta'd so mistakes are all mine. I'm new at this and still learning, so thanks for taking the time to read.

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She never thought this could happen so soon. Moving her belongings out of their apartment, moving out of the life they had created. She was waiting for Flack to bring the car around. She was so grateful he was there to help her, knowing how difficult this must be for him too. She felt suffocated by the boxes of mementos. She tried not looking at it. She didn't want to open the satin bound book, didn't want to thumb through the pages of glossy photos. The sounds of laughter that stabbed her with hurt as they resonated in her mind, but she was here now alone, moving her things out.

She was unsure of her next move. Suddenly enraged she flung the album across the room. The disturbed dust floated and swirled in the afternoon light. The two weeks of dust clouded around her, enveloping as she sat on the worn hardwood floor. She felt so small, so alone. She knew that everyone was behind her, willing to help her, everyone except the one person she needed the most. Two weeks. Two weeks away from this place and she still felt no better. She looked over to the hall table to the place that used to hold a glass vase; she had destroyed that as well in a fit of rage. It felt good to break things in the first moment, but instantly the emptiness and heartbreak would overwhelm her. How many times had she come home to see that vase filled with flowers that he surprised her with, mostly daisies to remind her of the first flower. Never would she see those flowers in that vase, in their home. She was caught between two conflicting emotions, the overwhelming feeling to flee, to get away from this place, away from the memories which plagued her and left a sharp ache on her heart. These thoughts would give way to the feelings that she never wanted to leave but rather live here in a strange monument to what they had. Like an exhibition in a museum, just like Miss Havisham, leave everything exactly as it was before it all ended.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the soft knocking and sympathetic faces of Stella and Flack. His blue eyes scanning the disturbance and the glossy photos littering the floor.

"His parents will come get his stuff," quietly adding "anything you don't want to keep."

She looked away in vain, trying to hide her tears. Tears she no longer could control. Flack softly walked over to the album while Stella enveloped her in comforting arms.

_That awful phone call. The disbelief in the morgue. Running out of the cemetery only to return later that afternoon to cry by herself over a fresh mound of dirt. Two weeks on Stella's couch, falling asleep wishing she could wake up from this nightmare. Wake up next to him that morning and beg him to call in sick. Anything to have one more day together. _


	2. New Apartment

**A/N:** Okay Hi all I decided to to write a follow up chapter to my pure angst story. **Angst level: heavy**. A very special Thank You to Sally Jetson for the beta, if it weren't for her you would be subjected to many tense problems. I hope you enjoy it.

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Chapter 2: New Apartment 

She hated her new apartment. It was too bright, it was too clean, and it was too quiet. No memories. No smells. The cold white walls were a stark contrast to their cozy home. Most unsettling was that it had nothing that could remind her of him. When she could not resist any longer she would sit in her hall closet amongst the things she had kept.

_His parents had understood when she had come to their house. Giving her a sad smile they had let her go into his childhood room. First Louie and now Danny gone, his room in their small house really had become frozen in time. His baseball trophies and little league pictures lined the shelves. The childhood mementos gave way to newer additions. Photographs from his Academy graduation and the engagement party sat next to each other on the dresser. Just behind was the folded flag. That was the one thing out of place. It left her unsettled, and suddenly nauseous. That was the one thing that stopped her from staying in that room forever. It stopped her from begging his parents to let her move in. _

Running her fingers again through his hanging button up shirts. Her fingertips brushing the soft cotton, tracing the buttons. Always resisting the urge to drape them around her shoulders. She knew this wasn't healthy. She already had to have Stella take her dress away. The dress he never got to see her in.

Not being able to move on, she would lose track of time sitting in the small dark room. She could so easily be transported back to her old life, her happier life. Close her eyes and vividly remember the sounds of him in the kitchen, the teasing timber of his voice and the taste of his kisses.

Perhaps it was better this way. A new neighborhood without their coffee shop, without their pizza place. The man at this corner store would not know why she looked so sad, so despondent. He wouldn't give her the sympathetic looks she had recently learned to recoil from. She often thought about leaving New York completely.

She tried to go on with her routine, but even that was altered. She could be found quietly doing lab work not willing to fight with Mac. She wouldn't even try to convince him that she was capable of going into the field. Stella encouraged her to take a vacation. To get away from it all. Unfortunately there was not any place where the image of him lying in the morgue did not haunt her. No place where his absence didn't beat into her vacant heart. She didn't want to go to anywhere that they had thought of discovering together. They had so often stayed up cuddling, musing where they would spend their honeymoon, or their vacations, or where their future children would first learn to ride a horse. Danny would make plans for the days they weren't on call, places within driving distances of the city. She couldn't bear to be anywhere that reminded her of what they had missed out on. Even fishing up in the Catskills was unthinkable to her now. What did that leave her? Iceland. Nope not even Iceland, Danny had been a Bjork fan.

What was her next step? Get out of this dark closet, get out of this lonely apartment. She thought about going back to Montana. She didn't even care what kind of rumors would go around town. _Suffering a mental break, dead fiancé, unfit for duty._ All she could think of was the paint chipped porch swing in front of her parents' house, the place where his lips had first touched hers.


	3. Six Years

A/N: Thank you so much to SallyJetson for the beta. I was a bit unsure about this chapter so it's been sitting for awhile.

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Chapter Three: Six Years

Six years. It had been six long years. The ache of loneliness was sometimes too overwhelming. Some nights she never thought she would make it until dawn. When she would see the orange sun peek over the horizon she didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed to make it to the next day.

She hadn't wanted to ever come back here and she hadn't been back here in almost six years. Even after all this time, it was too real. It was as if seeing his name in print made the situation too permanent and his end too finite. His name etched into the cold marble was too hard to see even all these years later.

She still missed him so much. Her hands would itch to pick up the phone and tell him about a funny thing that happened. In the dark waking up from a nightmare, she would still feel for him, hoping he could pull her close, steady her racing heart. Her hands feeling only the cold sheets only reminded her of the permanence of their separation. As if she needed a reminder. There wasn't a day that had gone by that she was not reminded of his sparkling blue eyes or his cheeky grin. Now her heart still clenched at the thought, but she was no longer overwhelmed by the darkness of her loneliness. Instead her heart ached for the things he was missing. She fought back the tears, replaced them instead with a sad smile. The laughter, the smiles, the whispers all these things he should have been here for.

_She had never really moved into her new apartment, the boxes still packed littered the stark space. It was only in her hall closet that things were unpacked and his scent mingled with the cedar lining. For something she hadn't thought through, it was still well planned. She paid her rent and bills in advance, arranged for her mail to be sent to Stella's. She handed in her forms for a leave of absence; Mac was the only one unsurprised. Stella had hugged her tightly. For a minute she felt badly for leaving them as well, but she knew she couldn't stay. She couldn't move on if everything reminded her of him. This city was him. All the things she didn't want to ever forget but were making it hard for her to shake the grips of despair. She wasn't sure how long she would be gone for; she wasn't even sure where she was going. She found herself pulling into her parents' farm. Comforted by her mother's welcoming arms, but disturbed by the feeling that this too was no longer home. Nevertheless her mother held her as she cried that whole night._

She thought it was amazing that throughout all her mourning, her sadness and desperation, she had never thought to hurt herself. Sure she was neglectful of herself but only to a point. She knew she still had living to do. It was always as if the small flame in her refused to be extinguished. Her mother was the first to notice, to tell that perhaps her tiredness, her illness, was not due to his absence but to another's presence. Confusion and worry were the first things on her mind. Afraid that she hadn't been looking after herself well enough, then afraid she couldn't do this by herself. Mostly she was afraid to be too excited, to get her hopes up. That even in the worst of times such a miracle could occur. That even while she lost him he would leave her with part of him. Their son.

Soft laughter and a maniacal giggle filled the air and awoke her from her reverie before she felt the sudden cold of a snowball at her back. The snow swirling, sparkling blue eyes and that same cheeky grin.


End file.
